WAITING AND SEEING

The wonderful news is that we have succeeded in creating a truly unusual book called Field Guide to Ambiguity! What is ironic and funny is that the final stage of distributing this book remains shrouded in unknowns. I have however, been sent two beautiful advanced copies, and I could not be more pleased. Here are some pictures I took the day I received my advanced copy.  

I was hoping to meet the shipment of books in Boston and let people come celebrate with me, but I recently learned that they won't be arriving in time to do that.

​AND YET! I will be in Boston with lots of other treasures and invite you to please come join me at a sweet open house on Dunster Road in JP on the evening of Friday December 15!   

This is an incredibly talented group of old and new friends. Join us! ​
If you reserved Field Guides as part of my kickstarter and can meet me there, I can hand you

1. Everything else you'd be getting depending on what reward tier you selected,
2. As well as a card for each Field Guide you will get in January. That way you can give the card as a heads-up/stand-in holiday gift. 
3. I will also have new prints and things from the studio that you likely haven't seen before, and there are many beautiful artist and handmade wonders to discover on the 15th in JP!  

If you are in Ann Arbor on December 23rd, I will also be holding an open studio with (fingers crossed) actual books you can pick up.  This will be from 7-9pm at my studio on Brierwood Court in the garage. 

My final analysis is that I’m just not as in control of my life and of outcomes as I want. I look around and see my elders in the midst of their lives and what’s going on for them, and remember that this situation is the human condition, becoming more stark with age. I knew this in theory when I was 20, but I didn’t know it through experience.
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Accompanying me through this experience of uncertainty is adjusting to new normals with my wrists. Thankfully, they’re out of all kinds of splints and casts which makes sleep comfortable again. And yet, it’s still confusing. Moving a small aluminum ladder causes no problem, but loading my woodbox causes pain for three days that I didn’t anticipate. The wrists also affect the final receiving of these books. For example, I can’t lift a box of books, and I’ll be receiving many of them, and watching others :)  move many more.

Here are some of the questions I’ve grappled with in the past three months, once the book was fully completed at the printer.

-where would it be best to have the books sent? Boston where I store them, or Michigan?
-when will the shipment arrive?
-where in Michigan can I store these books for a reasonable price where they’ll be safe?
-is there room in my house?
-is my house structurally ok to hold 1000 pounds or so of book boxes?
-how much will it cost to send the postage out exactly?
-what kind of vehicle will be available to transport my books?
-will the vehicle be reliable for a cross country drive?
-will they arrive before Christmas like I set as an intention last January?
-what should I tell people?
-how can I get the books off a palette and into my car?
-do I need help?
-should I ask for help?
-what kind of help might I need?
-how do I ask for help?
-where did all of those chargers go that I put in a bag?
-where did I put my airpods? I just had them…
-where are my *#@*&^&% airpods!?!?!
-was I supposed to be somewhere earlier today that I forgot about?
-how will I make plans with family when I don’t know when the books will arrive or where I will be meeting the books?

In other words, this project and surrounding events have taken a bit of a toll  despite all of the help I have received and taking a full year to make this happen, rather than trying to shove it into 4 months.

There have been no easy answers to these questions. The answer has remained Wait and See. And as my friend Priscilla likes to say, the answers are up ahead.

The book is beautiful and well crafted. And, unlike the novel I’m reading that just came apart in three pieces, this book is sewn and glued, and built to last as a bonafide Field Guide. Also, I LOVE the cover color - it is exactly what I drove an extra hour and back to Ellsworth Maine to ensure.

Sometimes I’m just watching a show and laughing and eating a good meal, or hanging out and having coffee with a friend or listening to a good podcast, or sitting in a patch of sun. At these times, everything feels fine. At other times it doesn’t.

I’ve picked up my copy of this book several times and said to myself: Yes, this is the thing I need to read right now. I need to find my situation in this book, and ask myself some questions there to get my bearings, to pause, to reframe what’s going on without anyone being prescriptive with me. And that’s what I’ve been doing.

Like with everything, I don’t always remember to pick the book up, but it’s there now. We made it together! And I thank you for making that possible.

We’ve done it, it’s a great thing, and the book is almost here. It will get to you in January, if we can't see each other in December.

Again, if you live in Ann Arbor, and want your copy before Christmas, I will hold studio hours on the evening of Saturday December 23rd if all goes well, from 7-9, and you can get your copies and anything else I have in there :) for under the tree.

And then I’m taking the week off to enjoy the quiet before a new year begins.