GOOD BONFIRE: Writing on creativity and contemplative practice by artist Hannah Burr

FALLING

6/20/2023

6 Comments

 
Picture
Today is Monday. Today is my first full day with two broken wrists after a bad fall on Sunday. Today is 10 days before my Kickstarter closes.

This is my first attempt at dictation. I'm tired and I can't really use either hand for the next 6 to 8 weeks. I am stunned, disoriented and confused!

I am doing this crowdfund for the book Field Guide to Ambiguity. The irony is not lost on me here. This is a tender time.

This is the first time I've been in my studio since Friday - about four days. I wasn't sure I could open the door by myself. I can't put my hair back by myself, I can't hold a glass by myself. I think I'm going to be wearing this one floral wraparound dress with a high loose bun which is what my partner Guy can manage with some instruction, on my head, for the foreseeable future. I look like a frontierswoman.

I have no idea what to say about the Kickstarter campaign except that this is an amazing book and it is for these moments when things are going one way and suddenly they're going a different way and there's nothing you can do about it and it's hard to get your bearings.

This is what I'm going through now.

Here's how I would use this book when it is in physical form:

1. I would use the journaling prompts in the first section of the book. I would ask myself

What's going on for you right now honey?
What are your questions?

Those are a couple of the prompts from the book.

My questions right now are:

When can I next take a shower?

How will the surgery on Friday go?

Will I recover the use and range of motion of my dominant hand fully?

What's going to happen with my plans for the summer?

Can friends can come and help me?
What kind of help do I need? Who can I ask? What will I ask? how do I ask?

2. Next I'd star or circle one of these as my primary question. In this case it would be a general question about total lack of control in outcomes.

I suppose the main question is : Will I fully recover the range of motion in my left hand?

I've never broken a bone before and my left hand is my closest ally in life for so many reasons. Right now it almost feels like it died. Hand surgery is on Friday.

3. I'd then go to the three directories in the field guide, and I’d look for that primary question in the directories. And I'd find

Health and illness
Solitude and socializing
Disappointment
Upheaval and change

in the Life Themes directory.

I'd find

Surprising
Embodied
Electro mechanical
Sensory
Relational

in the qualities list.

4. I’d then go to the indicated page numbers, to reflect and to see if it helps me get my bearings.

Here's what it says under Embodied

Being in a body comes with a litany of sensations. Embodied, we are constantly in flux, interacting with the world of objects, people and places. We say it's 'my body' but this body is about as yours as a forest, a coral reef, or a flock of birds. On paper we can agree that it's mine, but aren't we more just along for the ride, an arc of life touching down in this envelope of skin? Our bodies run themselves, breathe themselves, regulate their own temperature, scratch an itch, and take us to the bathroom on our legs when it’s time. If we had to beat our own hearts, we'd likely be dead right now. This category includes situations relating directly to our bodies or embodiment as an experience.

Situations that are embodied might include Falling (26), Climbing (28), Unfolding(30), Hearing (32-34), Opening the Refrigerator (36), Tasting (38), Going through (40), Depositing (42).

Under the main list of ambiguous situations, which is a list of gerund verbs, is included Falling as well as Going through.

Ironically, while writing this book, my favorite was the Falling ambiguous situation.  It's variations include falling with fragile goods and also falling in love.

Here's with that page looks like. And here's what it says:



Picture
And here's another page called Going through and here's what that page looks like and here's what it says there
​
Picture
The experience of turning to these pages is simply a tenderness, a gentle balm, and a slight reframe suggested through questions. I don't feel like writing right now because I can't use my hands, but just reading what's there is a reminder that was happening is not unique to me, that's very human and understandable, and is helping me widen the view a little bit, situate myself some, and not feel so alone.

There's an abstract artwork to puzzle over and there are many through-ways in the book via directories placed within these pages so you can also just flip to to find what you relate to or find interesting.

That's what this book is: it's a gentle celebration of humanness and the free fall that is our lives.

My first book came out of a very ambiguous time in my life, and prayer was a huge part of how I found my way through. This is a gentle hand hold, this book, it's very sweet in its tone. When there's a raw moment going on it's a way to get some perspective on it, without needing to be any different than you are, without anything needing to change.

There's a section at the beginning of the book where discomfort and ambiguity are explored: When I'm uncomfortable it's usually a sign that something really uncertain is happening and I want certainty. I want normalcy.

And we don't always get that.

When I was writing an earlier draft I had five early readers. Their feedback made me realize that I want this book to be something that my elderly friends who are falling a lot and whose lives are not looking the same as they did even a few months ago can relate to, I want it to be something that people being displaced from their homes maybe in California or in the Ukraine, or in Syria may encounter and find some kindness in.

I can't say that right now I'm feeling as fun sense of adventure around the fact that I don't have use of my hands for the summer, but I think in a few days I might find this book helpful.

It's pretty ironic that falling is what created my ambiguous situation and that Falling has been my favorite situation in the book.

I think there is a clear admittance on my part that I can't do all that much to be helpful to anybody as another human being, but this is just a way to draw attention to this human predicament we are in, and to talk about it both directly and also obliquely, with some color in form, humor and kindness in the shape of a field guide.

If you are wondering how you can help me right now, you can back and share this campaign. This is also the week my email stopped working properly, so please use yours to share the project.
​
RESERVE 'FIELD GUIDE TO AMBIGUITY'
6 Comments
Geoffrey Gross
6/22/2023 03:04:58 pm

What a remarkable turn of events! Full stop-temporarily stunned-amazed-painful-it's OK to cry-now do everything differently-except you can't do almost anything except surrender to what is right now. Someone said there are no accidents but I kind of think there are. Without getting all esoteric about causation sometimes shit happens and you just have to deal with it. Hang in there my headless friend. I will be praying with you.

Reply
hannah link
7/9/2023 08:02:49 am

Thank you Geoffrey. Every day is different. My hands are remembering themselves little by little.

Reply
Marla
6/28/2023 09:31:53 pm

I am so sorry to hear that this happened to you! I thought about you in the last few days, good coaching thoughts that you shared with me about when creative projects veer into the ditch of "don't wanna!" You helped. I look forward to receiving my copy of Field Guide (in the fullness of time, as they say).

Reply
Hannah
7/9/2023 08:05:13 am

Thank you Marla! Yes: Don't wanna!!!

It's nice to hear from you and hope your summer is enjoyable. I just got waterproof casts so water is not such a far off thing anymore!

Reply
Dorrie King
8/17/2023 10:07:52 am

May you be healing well and finding peace in the way things are. Productivity too.
I am sending mucho metta from CIMC.

Reply
hannah
8/7/2024 10:13:29 am

Dear Dorrie!

I somehow missed your comment last summer on a blog post about breaking my wrists. They are healed now, almost a full year after you wrote this comment, and I'm so glad to see your name and think of you! I just thought of Ron and Jerry this week also. Lots of love to you,

Hannah B

Reply



Leave a Reply.

    Never miss a post!

    ALIVE 

    Check out the newest book:
    FIELD GUIDE TO AMBIGUITY  

    NOW--ISH
    A solo exhibition Opening June 7—Sept 6 2024, Saugatuck Center for the Arts, Saugatuck MI.

    FREE SESSION WITH HANNAH!

    If you feel overwhelmed, confused or just plain excited by what's afoot in your life, and would like some excellent clarifying space and tools, try a session with Hannah! She's been a coach for 15 years. First 30 minutes is just to see what it's like...
    SNAG A FREE SESSION

    ​

    + GET ONE OF HB'S BOOKS
    +  SEE HANNAH'S ARTWORK
    + SHOP HANNAH BURR STUDIO

    Author

    Hannah Burr is a contemporary artist and author. Originally from Boston, she lives in Ann Arbor MI.

    Archives

    November 2024
    October 2024
    September 2024
    August 2024
    July 2024
    June 2024
    May 2024
    April 2024
    March 2024
    November 2023
    August 2023
    June 2023
    May 2023
    March 2023
    February 2023
    January 2023
    December 2022
    November 2022
    October 2022
    September 2022
    August 2022
    July 2022
    June 2022
    May 2022
    April 2022
    March 2022
    February 2022
    January 2022
    December 2021
    November 2021
    October 2021
    September 2021
    August 2021
    July 2021
    June 2021
    May 2021
    April 2021
    March 2021
    February 2021
    January 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    June 2020
    January 2020
    November 2019
    October 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    October 2017
    August 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    October 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    April 2016
    January 2016
    August 2015
    March 2014
    August 2013

    Categories

    All
    Art + Books
    Art For Sale
    Art In Print
    Artists Books
    Coaching
    Contemplative Practice
    Contemporary Art
    Creative Process
    Creative Process And Practice
    Deals + Events
    Embodied
    Meditation
    Messes
    Messiness
    Objects
    Prayer
    Reflection And Writing
    Relationship
    Spirituality
    Studio Stories

    RSS Feed

hannahburr.com

SHOP
CONTACT

BLOG ROll

ABOUT HANNAH


© COPYRIGHT 2015. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.