To look forward:
I find that right between Dec 25 and Jan 2 or so, there’s an unusual vibe about. This reflection time becomes for me what I want to do more than almost anything else. I used to feel pulled to go to black tie events even bus it into New York city to ring in the new year in a crowd of strangers. Always I feel huge releif to stay home, make a nice pot au feu, and connect with the distant twinkling stars over my head whether I can see them or not.
Before looking forward there’s this quiet openness to tap into. I’m grateful that I no longer have to be trying to keep down too many appletini’s in a silvery dress on a NY subway as the clock strikes midnight and can instead just be home, soaking in a twinkly silence. Reflecting on the very illusory, slippery and conceptual nature of time.
When it’s morning, the light is always a little different in the new year. Unwritten and like new airwaves. This is sometimes a nice moment to do the forward looking part.
If you consult your innermost truth, the velvety layers of your heart, what would you love to experience in this year? What would you love to see unfold? Be careful here to really check to see if what you identify as wanting is true for you right now, or something you used to want but feels a little stale.
Also here, be careful to focus on qualities of experience, how you want to feel, versus on what you might get, or the outer trappings. I say this because sometimes I think I’ll get joy from a boyfriend or a fancy tech job, but the universe or whatever it is knows better, and so if I focus on the JOY itself, the quality of experience, I will open up the possibilities beyond my own imagination, trusting the best form of JOY to arrive, in a package I can’t predict. One year it was buoyancy I wanted, another it was roots and community. It can be lots of things, but don’t just say you want to feel good. Make it specific. And too, other people, places and things won’t ever deliver forever, so don’t place your bet on someone stopping their habitual thing, or treating you or seeing you differently. We have no control over others. So focus on your own experience and drop those objects. They will do what they do. You can work within your own hula hoop effectively, and change comes from there.
Hannah Burr is a contemporary artist and author. Originally from Boston, she lives in Ann Arbor MI.